“I don’t fit in… I fit out,” the little purple alien proclaimed on my high-definition television.
“Ha, amen to that,” I remarked as I shoved another handful of popcorn into my mouth.
Three months later, I sit in my room and stare at my bright blue wall. Why cant I just fit in? Why do I find myself left out of social gatherings all the time?
“You don’t put yourself far enough out there,” my twisted brain tells me. “You’re too conserved. You’re not enjoying the things they’re enjoying. You’re a goodie-two-shoes without a fun side. Just lighten up a bit.”
I look down at my shaky hands. A wave of sadness washes over me like I’m a helpless child wallowing into the sea. I like how I am, though. Do I really have to change how I am to make people like me more?
Eventually, I found my answer this hard question: no.
But that night I didn’t really feel like “no” was an option. I spent some time trying to come up with a way to change myself but not change my roots.
Could I do a completely personality reversal? Possibly. That would mean changing into a self-focused, sarcastic person who lacked in the kindness department. I’ve been that kind of person before, and it actually made me loose friends, so I knew that wouldn’t work.
Could I start joining in on the rude, fairly inappropriate jokes they make? I could. That would consist of ditching my slightly conservative and innocent side that I was given when I became a Christian. Did I really want that?
Could I change everything about my appearance? Maybe. But how would I change it? Start wearing shorter shorts? Ditch the Marvel t-shirts for ones that flaunt my chest and curves a little better? Wear more makeup than the few products I wear now? I could do all of those things, but that would mean completely abandoning the standards I’ve set for myself.
The truth is, I’m the only me there is, and I’m a pretty great me. I don’t need to be everyone’s friend, and I don’t need to have the approval of everyone. I don’t need to uproot my beliefs and lower my standards to fit the cruel mold of the world.
That night when I was questioning why I only had a few great friends instead of a lot of good ones, I realized that my great friends are the ones who don’t want me to change and the ones that like the quirky, nerdy, crazy Christian that I am. I feel so bad that I took that for granted.
You may be tempted with the thought of conforming to those around you. I want to tell you that you don’t have to be who they want you to be. You don’t have to blend into the crowd. It’s okay to fit out.
There are people out there who love you because of how you stay true to who you are and your beliefs in Christ. You may not know it, but there are people who genuinely admire those that stick to their roots.
So don’t change who you are just to meet the approval of those who are trying to find their identity in something worthless. Keep being you and loving who you are.